That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
