i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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