Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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