The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
