it's great music for shaving your balls
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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