I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
