Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
