the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
