In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
