what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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