There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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