you didnt know i had herpes?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
false alarm, still single
Randomize
