Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize