i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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