you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize