spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
