Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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