I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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