Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
They took my balls.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
