Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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