As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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