Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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