Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
