areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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