Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He did a backflip because drugs
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize