I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
