we have officially lost it.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
