Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You're like the curious george of whores
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
