so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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