i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
