hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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