And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize