i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
