Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
