I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize