Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
