I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize