babies were throwing up all over the place
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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