I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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