i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
