The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
