Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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