just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I smell like Dick and happiness
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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