they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
