Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
