oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
