YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
