just come out here and I will go home with you...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
