Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
