watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
