My brain says no but my pants say off.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm too high and old for this...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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