i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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