My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
