That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
