I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
