I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
