There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
They are going to name an STD after you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
