he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
