i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
