I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
