life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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